Test Your Ellen Knowledge with ‘2 Lies and a Truth’

Happy Friday. Are you excited for the weekend? [CHEERING] A simple nod of the head would
have done, but that’s OK. So strange– I don’t
know what it is, but I feel like I
already know you. I feel like– and I’m sure you
feel like you already know me. So I’m going to put
you to the test. There’s a game. You know the game,
two truths and a lie? This is not like that. We’re going to play
something totally different. And it’s called two
lies and a truth. So I’m going to tell you
three facts about me. One of them is true– only one. And then you have to
guess which one it is. OK, one– listen carefully,
because I’m going to pick one of you to guess. Once I worked a coat check at a
burlesque club in New Orleans. Once I starred in a
Popeye’s chicken commercial. Once I made out with
Tommy Lee Jones. All right. The woman– yeah, with your
hand on your chest with the red, right there in the glasses. Yeah, all right. Did you listen to all three. I did. I did. All right. And they’re right here, in case
you want to read them, too. Oh my goodness. Which one do you
think is the truth? Number three. Have you followed my career? All right. Well, that’s not true. That’s not right. No, the truth of it is I
once– what do you all think? One! Two. One! Yeah, yeah. Yes, the majority of you
saying one are wrong. And the people that said
number two is right– [DING] Unfortunately, we have proof. [MUSIC PLAYING] Summer jugs from Popeye’s. I was very surprised. I can’t stand it. I’ve got to have it. (SINGING) Summer
jugs from Popeye’s. But the summer jug special
and get free refills all summer long. (SINGING) Fill them again
and again and again. Free refills with
qualifying purchase. (SINGING) Summer
jugs from Popeye’s. Buy your summer jug and get
free refills all summer long. (SINGING) Love that
chicken from Popeye’s. It’s wonderful. It’s just– gah, it’s crazy! [CHEERING] Yep. That’s the beginning,
right there. I wish I kept that job. I could have been selling
those sandwiches on eBay. All right, let’s
do another round. Here we go. I’m allergic to papayas. I took a man to the
Emmys as my date. I entered an Ellen DeGeneres
lookalike contest and I lost. All right, sir, right there. Sir? I’m looking at you. Yes. You’re next to the microphone. Yes. What do you think it is? What’s the truth? It would have to be number three
because that would be so funny. It would be funny. I believe it to be true. Is it? The way you say it makes
me want it to be true. I believe it to be true. First of all, I don’t know
if they have Ellen DeGeneres lookalike contests. But that would be funny. No, that is not correct. What’s the guess
for everybody else? Two! One. It is number two. I took a man to the
Emmys as my date. [DING] Jonathon Schaech was
my date, right here. Here’s proof. Aw. I know it. Should’ve won an Emmy for that. [APPLAUSE] Look at that. Look at the way we’re
looking at each other. All right, one more round– when I was 22, I had a pet
ferret named Ferret Fawcett. Portia and I have
tiny matching tattoos. One of my old jobs
involved loading containers of white powder on boats. All right, I’m going
to go to this side now. Well, you’re raising your
hand in the front row. Yes. What do you think it is? What’s the truth? I think it’s number one. You think it’s number one? You’re wrong. Can I guess again? Yes, guess again. I want to say two. You did just say it. Then two. That’s a sneaky way
of feeling me out. Yeah, kind of. When there’s only
two of them left– like I’m an idiot. So two. Well? So two. You’re saying two? Yes. No. No. I don’t have any tattoos. I did– I don’t know
if it was white powder, but I did a thing for– [DING] I don’t have any proof
of this, but I did. I helped load, like, supplies
on boats that that came in. And I don’t– I
really don’t know. My– all I know is
I was really young and I had to sit at a
desk and take orders of boats that were coming in. And the name of my
boss was Mr. Escobar. That’s all I know.

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