Studies Show – Romantic Relationships | The Daily Show


Studies– they tell us
what to eat, how to exercise and which of our favorite things
are giving us cancer. All of them. But with new studies
coming out every day, sometimes it’s hard to keep up. Luckily, though,
we’ve got Dulcé Sloan in our brand-new segment
Studies Show. -♪ ♪
-(cheering, applause) Hi, friends. This week’s studies
are all about relationships, specifically
romantic relationships. Everybody wants one,
especially me. I thought I was in one
until he told me that his gifts were just Amazon packages
because he’s my “mailman.” Hmm. All right. I can tell when somebody’s
playing hard to get. And thanks to new studies, we’re
learning all sorts of things about relationships,
like this one, which shows that the only thing gold diggers
are mining for is french fries. According to a new study, many
women are choosing free meals over relationships. The study in the journal Social Psychological
and Personality Science says up to a third of women
have engaged in a foodie call. It’s when a person
sets up a date with somebody they have
no romantic interest in, all for a free meal. -(laughter)
-That’s right. Studies show
a third of all dates are just people trying
to eat for free. (laughter) So, fellas, sometimes
that eggplant emoji just means “I’m in the mood
to eat eggplant.” (laughter, shouts) (applause, whooping) (mutters) There’s only one emoji
that always means sex, and it’s the hockey net– ’cause you’re about to score,
and it’s nice and wide. (laughter) And if you’re trying to figure
out what’s going to happen to your relationship
after the first date, we got studies for that, too. NEWSMAN: Have you ever witnessed
a couple making out in public and thought, “Get a room!” A surprising new study found
that the amount of affection between you and your partner
may determine whether or not
a marriage will last. And we’re talking about
public displays of affection. They found that couples
who are overly affectionate from the start
of their relationship may be more likely to divorce. (laughter) So… PDA couples are
more likely to break up. Ha! That’s what you get! (laughter, whooping, applause) Always getting to third base in the stationery aisle
of Walgreens. -(laughter)
-Get your mouths off each other. I’m trying to pick
a birthday card for my grandma. I don’t need y’all licking
all the envelopes. And why do people have
to make out in public like they haven’t seen
each other in a decade? He just got back from
the bathroom, not Afghanistan. (laughter) Although, if you did
just come back from Afghanistan, thank you for your service. -Get it wet.
-(laughter) But if you want to keep
your relationship healthy, this last study shows
a little jealousy can go a long way. Smart device snooping. It’s something more people do
than will admit. But can secretly scanning
your partner’s phone actually help your relationship? A new study says maybe. According to a study from the
University of British Columbia and the University of Lisbon,
about 25% of the participants said that their relationship
got stronger after they or their significant other
were caught snooping. The study concluded
this strengthened bond came from a heightened desire
to solve trust issues. Ha-ha-ha-ha! (laughter) Uh-huh. Yeah. You hear that, Darryl? (laughter) I wasn’t snooping– I was
strengthening the relationship. (cheering, applause) Okay? You’re gonna complain that
I Face ID you in your sleep? Well, if you
don’t want that to happen, stop leaving your face open. (laughter) Now, if you’ll excuse me,
I have ordered several packages -to my apartment…
-(laughter) and I have to have dinner ready
for when my man drops them off. Dulcé Sloan, everybody!

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