Ellen Tests an Audience Member’s Wine Knowledge

So it’s probably because
it’s the first day of spring, you’re excited for that right. [CHEERING] [APPLAUSE] It is a wonderful
time of year, and one of the popular spring activities
in California is wine tasting. Has anybody ever
been wine tasting? [CHEERING] Any of you tasted
wine yet today? [LAUGHTER] It seems like you’ve
started early. Wine tasting to me is really
just an excuse to drink. It makes it look like it’s
not a problem, because you get lots of glasses. And you’re wine tasting. And then we do it
one time, and then we go to a restaurant we
think we’re experts. I don’t know why this is, but
when you order wine, especially if it’s a nice bottle if you
go through the whole menu, and you pick out a bottle, and
then they bring you the bottle. They don’t just open it,
they show you the bottle. They present the bottle to you. And you have to go, yep, you
did it, you brought it to me. You got it right, Mister. Then they take the
cork out, and then they put the cork on the table. And just stand there,
and you’re like, oh, I’m supposed to smell
the cork, of course. And so then you’re, mm, cork. And then you put that
down, and then they pour a tiny, tiny
bit in your glass. And you swirl it around, because
you know you’ve learned that. And you swirl it, and you smell
it, and you swirl it again. You don’t know
what you’re doing. You’re just swirling
it, smelling it. And then you taste it,
and you’re like, mm. Yep, that’s good. And then they pour the
rest in your glass. And finally you do what you came
to do, just get drunk and hook up with a stranger. You just– that’s what you want. [APPLAUSE] Drinking wine is an
entire experience. There are different notes
you’re supposed to taste. It’ll say like this note
has a taste of chocolate. I don’t know what
they’re talking about. I taste– the only time
I’ve tasted chocolate is when I’m eating chocolate. Then I know that
there’s chocolate there. I’ve never had wine and
go, I taste chocolate. And then there’s one that says
it has hints of oak in it. And I don’t– I’ve
never had oak. I don’t know what
that tastes like. I’m not a termite, I don’t
know what that tastes like. I found a couple of wine reviews
that I want to share with. You this is a real review for
a bottle of Cabernet Sauvignon. And it says tobacco,
rich soil, metal. And then pencil shavings
are in there as well. Further down, it says delicious. It’s like you’re kissing a Home
Depot employee, or something. Here’s another one
for a Pinot Noir, and it says smoke and toast. So you don’t know if you’re
having a nice glass of wine, or a stroke. You really don’t know– Isn’t that you’re supposed to
smell when you’re having a– Here’s what we’re
going to do today. I got some wines and
some wine reviews. I want to see if anyone here
can taste those flavors. Nicolette [? Tavasole? ?]
Where are you? [CHEERING] Come on down. [MUSIC PLAYING] Hi. How are you? I’m good, how are you? I’m good. All right, Nicolette. Thank you, [? Xeni. ?]
Appreciate it. Come on. Hi. You love wine? Yes, I do. Well, this is a wonderful
activity for you, then. Look, we’ve got three
bottles of it so. We’ll be here a while. This is great. OK. So where do you live? In Mesa, Arizona. [CHEERING] Oh. A lot of people representing
Arizona in the house. What do you do there? I’m a financial
crime specialist. I don’t know what that means. OK. I want you to taste these
wines, and I want you to– if you can guess
one of the descriptions that the wine has in it. And then you can let me know. All right. Have you ever been wine tasting? Yes, I have. Oh, good. So you know what you’re doing. Yes. OK. I’m a natural. All right. Nicolette, just–
Yep, that’s right. Mm-hm. Mm-hm. What do you taste in there? Tastes like a Merlot. It’s not, it’s a Bordeaux. Maybe 1979. I don’t know the year. I get– I do not
think it’s a 1979. I will tell you, I am not
going to let you taste in 1979. I’m taking that home with
me, if there’s a 1979. Um, it tastes woodsy. Woodsy. Yeah, maybe oak. Maybe oak. Maybe oak. There is oak in there. Is there? Yes. Cherry, maybe. Some berries, maybe. You’re just guessing things. Taste it and tell me
really what you taste, because there’s
some things in here that I want to
know if you taste. Mm. Oh. I don’t know there– it
has a weird aftertaste. That tastes like a little bit– I don’t know. Like oak, maybe. Like– Well, you said oak already. So you’re obviously
drunk already. Maybe pine? Well, no. There’s no pine and oak. You can’t mix your woods. Everyone knows you
can mix pine and oak. Put that down. Let’s try the next one,
and see what this one is. But you know you guessed oak. That’s kind of just a
broad generic guess. So I don’t really give
you points for that. I don’t get credit for that. But what– do you want
crackers or Ellen Water to– I need to clear my palate. Cleanse the palate. Yeah. Here you go. You can have a cracker. I got these at communion. [LAUGHTER] A little bland. Yeah. Well, yeah, that’s the point. Yeah. Have some more Ellen Water. You know the slogan. It tastes funny. All right. OK. All right. That’s the next one. Tell me what that tastes like. Mm. Mm. This one tastes like– definitely fruity. Yeah, it’s made with grapes. [LAUGHTER] I don’t know if it’s
my lunch earlier, but I tasted a little kale. Like a little bit of kale. No, it could still
be– you could maybe have kale in your teeth
that you didn’t swallow. No, there’s no kale in there. There’s an interesting
flavor in here, they say, that I– it
would be interesting. Do you taste any pickle juice? It says a hint of pickle juice. Oh, I love pickles. Really? Yeah, I don’t taste
pickles, though. Dusty leather? Do you taste that? Dusty leather. Like a couch? Not just leather. Dusty– yeah. Like a dusty couch. Yeah. It does taste a little antiquey. Dark fruit. You said fruit earlier. Lilies, candy. So this is a more expensive one. This is $125, this is $89. So this just last one. Let’s see with this one is, OK? And see if you enjoy this. What have you liked so far– I shouldn’t have
told you the prices. I should have just asked
you what you liked. I like the expensive one. Of course you do. Yeah. All right. Now taste this one. OK. Let’s see. Mm, this one smells good. You’re barely swirling. [LAUGHTER] I don’t want to
spill on your stage. Well, if you swirl right,
you don’t have to– it’s like flipping the thing, and then– Mm. This one– What is? I would say a little
bit more crisp. So probably like, more
like the lilies, maybe. Do they put roses in wine? Mm-mm. No. No. They don’t put lilies
in wine, either. It’s just– it’s the flavor
and the smell and the– Yeah. Yeah. So this one has a blueberry,
menthol, notes of violet, and crushed rocks. Rock? Yeah. I don’t taste that. Do you taste crushed rocks? Maybe some boulders? And I’m wondering who
has tasted crushed rocks to actually review
this, to say what, I did taste crushed rocks. That’s what it tasted like. All right. So which one do you
like of all of these. I like this one the best. Oh, your second one. Because I said it
was more expensive. OK. Well then you can take
that to your seat. Oh. Yes, you can have that. I’m so excited. And then you know what
pairs well with wine? Grapes? A dinner. A dinner? Yes. So wherever you’re going to
dinner tonight, within reason, is on me. Thank you. [APPLAUSE] You’re welcome.

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